my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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