I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
