Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
