I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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