Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
