Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
