you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
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