I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
