I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
