Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
