Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
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