i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
