somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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