Banned from zoo.
Again?
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Randomize
