Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
