u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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