turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
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