ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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