porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
