i just sent this text using only my big toe
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Randomize