i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Randomize
