Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Randomize
