well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
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