He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
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