i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
