Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
