did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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