But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
