Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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