just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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