If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
