i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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