Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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