Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
