I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Houston, we have a blender
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Randomize
