You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
