Nicole vs. Life
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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