Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Randomize
