well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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