I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Randomize
