You made me cry and you don't even care
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
