____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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