i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
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