hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I need water and some morals
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
