This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Randomize
