So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
