Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
