felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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