I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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