Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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