i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
im on a boat
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