Moan for me like Helen Keller
My cat gives me a boner
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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