considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
You peed on a flamingo?!?
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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