WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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