Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
