she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
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Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
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She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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