Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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