Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
