weddingsv make me drug and hornr
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
