i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
