Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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