I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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