with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
