Walk of Shame. In a state park.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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